The Gratitude List

My gratitude speaks

When I care

And When I share

The NA way.

Narcotics Anonymous

I got a head that wakes up and starts telling me how fucked my life is and how much of a worthless piece of shit I am and how I will always let everyone I love down and end up a lonely old piece of shit. If I am using my head tells me to use more because it doesn’t matter anyway as I already fucked everything up irreparably.

Without a program of recovery I can personally guarantee it wont take me long to fuck everything up royally and end up doing everything I feared. Hurting people I love and distancing myself from anything good in the universe. My program of recovery has to start early in my day, as soon as I open my eyes I have learned to admit I am an addict, make the decision to not use just for today and thank my higher power for keeping me alive to find a life in recovery.

It’s almost a semi automatic process now I allow myself to start identifying the things in life for which I am grateful, and on a day where the internal negative chatter is really loud I write these things onto a blank piece of paper as a “fuck you” to the disease that is in the corner doing push ups ready to take me out for my next use. A gratitude list is an essential tool for recovery and can be as simple as:

  • Grateful for a new day in recovery
  • Grateful to have my beautiful daughter in my life
  • Grateful to have pulled through the dark times in spite of myself
  • Grateful to have accommodation
  • Grateful to have a fridge full of food
  • Grateful to my sponsor
  • Grateful to my recovery friends
  • Grateful for online meetings
  • Grateful for the family I do have that love and support me
  • Grateful to be studying new opportunities
  • Grateful to be free from the hell in addiction
  • Grateful to have first world problems
  • Grateful that I am willing to learn
  • Grateful to my higher power
  • Grateful that an addict, any addict can stop using, lose the desire to use and find a new way to live!
  • Grateful for the support of my GP, psychiatrist, psychologist and social worker
  • Grateful to not be alone ever if I reach out therer is always someone there

That list took me 10 minutes to write and I could write the same things for the next 100 days. The more I practice my gratitude the more it grows and the more chance I have to tell my head or disease to fuck off so I can enjoy my day in recovery 🙂

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